by Laura Matanah
As my children enter fifth grade, I remember Tajah’s comment on her very first day of school: “Could we just wear the kindergarten clothes, Mom, but not go to kindergarten?” At this point I think we all feel excited about the clothes, and a bit jaded about the rest. The twins head into the new year having worked hard on math facts (because we made them) and having read for at least an hour each day (because they wanted to). The most wonderful thing happened with the math facts, though: they mastered them and came to love them. I wish this happened for them more often during the school day.
I myself taught for many years before becoming the executive director of Rainbow Rumpus. (You can read an interview with me in the September issue of Curve magazine about finding a good school fit for your child, advocating for LGBT inclusion, and working as a lesbian teacher.) Being on the opposite side of the parent-teacher conference table has been an educational experience.
Both of my children go to excellent schools, and both have had a series of experienced and knowledgeable teachers. I had imagined a life of school involvement that would revolve around supporting generally happy children and volunteering occasionally in their classrooms. Instead they are frequently stressed, and I am more often conferencing than volunteering.
An awful lot of their stress seems to be unnecessary. I was stunned when one of my avid readers was placed in the class’s lowest reading group. Apparently she had a borderline score on one test, and despite having average and above average scores on other tests, her teacher decided this group was the most appropriate placement. As it happened, every other brown child in the class was in the same group. After we complained, a more appropriate placement was made, but the experience was just the most glaring of a pattern of assumptions that teachers seem to make about where my kids belong.
Then there’s the homework that they don’t understand and takes them over an hour to do, leaving them feeling exhausted rather than accomplished. And the parent-teacher conferences that seem to have no clear goals or focus only on test scores.
Here’s my wish list for the coming year:
1. Classrooms that:
- provide ways for every child to be in positions of leadership and celebrate academic achievement among students of color (as well as white students).
2. Homework that:
- the child can do the majority of independently in a half hour or less each night, with flexibility built in for nights when there are after-school activities.
- ties to measurable goals and leads the child to a sense of mastery and
- occasionally is challenging enough to require adult assistance, but this help can be provided in about 15 minutes, leaving the child with a sense of completion and satisfaction.
3. Parent-teacher conferences that:
- let me know how my children feel in school and not just how they do on tests,
- give me confidence that my children will receive instruction based on their abilities,
- inform me that the teacher is teaching my child, and not expecting me or another teacher to be the ones providing instruction, and
- solve problems by defining a problem and coming up with a plan to address it in under an hour.
My family has had a lovely summer together. I hope your family has too. Let’s work together this year to encourage education that gives kids the time and space to explore their interests, welcomes all families, and celebrates success among all students.
