Lisa, Karen, and Zach are the first family to be interviewed for our series of OUTtakes from the Smooch Project. They graciously welcomed me into their home on a busy Friday afternoon to see a glimpse of their lives.
Even during a short time with them, I discovered that their love and affection for each other (and for superheroes) pervades their house as well as the photographs that Bonnie Fournier took of them at the Pride picnic last year. Taking inspiration from Bonnie’s project, I wanted to capture a snapshot of this family — this time with words.
As I make my way up the walk to meet Karen and Lisa, a grinning blond-haired boy in a bomber jacket intercepts me. “Hi, I’m Zach,” he says, smiling, as he shifts a Spiderman bouncing ball in his arms.
“Hi, I’m Erika,” I respond.
He grins again. “Hi Erika,” he shouts as he runs behind the house to play basketball.
I soon learn that Zach, who’s eight and in second grade, is an important person around this house. There are signs of him everywhere—his movies are stacked by the television, his room is decked out in superhero paraphernalia, and his small shoes are clustered in the entryway.
We settle into the comfortable living room, every once in a while catching Zach’s laughter from the backyard. “It’s just the three of us—Karen, Zach, and me,” Lisa explains. “Karen and Zach are originally from Ohio, and I’m from northern Minnesota. We met through mutual friends, and we’ve been living together for three years. I think we like what everybody else likes—going to movies or sporting events or places we haven’t been before.” From adventures at the Grand Canyon to trips to the science museum, Zach and his moms try to explore as much as possible. They admit that sometimes it’s tough to keep up with Zach’s “mile-a-minute” lifestyle—from his vibrant athleticism to his insatiable interest in superheroes. “I’m so tired of seeing Spiderman and Superman!” Karen groans.
Raising Zach has been one of the couple’s biggest challenges as well as their chief delight. Lisa says, “Zach is integrated into a regular classroom, but his cognitive disabilities give him some special needs. But really, he’s just a pretty average kid.” Learning how to communicate with a growing boy with some cognitive disabilities has been a bit of a struggle. “But besides that, he’s pretty easy to handle,” they both agree.
In the past three years, Karen, Lisa, and Zach have created their own family traditions. Karen catches herself marking important holidays and memories by Zach’s age at the time: “I think that happened at Christmas number five…” she muses. “Christmases here are so beautiful. We mark each gift with ML for Mommy Lisa, MK for Mommy Karen, and Z for Zach. Zach wakes us up early so he can play Santa and hand out the gifts.”
The two are thankful for what they have and proud of what they’ve created in such a short time. “I’ve always known that I’d like to have [kids] in my life. I was lucky when Karen and Zach came into my life,” Lisa says.
Karen nods. “Zachy is what I call a miracle child. He’s awesome—he has his moments, but he’s awesome. [Having a child] is the hardest thing you’ll ever love. And the other thing that’s true is that it does take a village to raise a child. When I was younger, I heard that saying, and I thought, ‘Well, that’s for lazy parents,’ but then you have one kid and you just realize, ‘Oh my gosh — it’s true!’ When I think about how many people are in Zach’s life—it really is a village of friends, family, teachers, and others who have their own little footprints on him.”
Karen and Lisa are looking forward to the future—especially to buying a house of their own with a big yard. They’re also excited to see Zach learn and grow, and perhaps develop his basketball skills from an underhand chuck to a fluid jump shot. In a quiet moment, we hear a ball bouncing in the backyard. “Can I shoot hoops with him?” I ask. Karen and Lisa laugh, and we all make our way out to play in the backyard.
